


Kurapika & The Colonoscopy

by Ceileice



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Butt, Ass Inspecting, Clown Windowless Van, Colonoscopy, Cum on Tie, Fatass Nurse, Lorge Cock Peenee, M/M, Smelly Gas, Tube Up Ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:02:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4331277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceileice/pseuds/Ceileice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurapika visits Doctor Leorio for a colonoscopy. ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kurapika & The Colonoscopy

**Author's Note:**

> i've never had a colonoscopy in my fucking life ok.??? but i'm supposed to get one when i'm 30 or something

Kurapika sighs. It was time. It was the day.

He waass reeddaaddy. He had prepared for the last three days.

He even made sure to take five different laxatives the night before.

The result was SHEER FUCKNIG horror, but it worked. It cleaned him out.

And now he was here. The doctor's office.

He was a little upsetet because he preferred a clinic, but it'd have to do. Not like you can pick somewhere fancy to have something like this done, he thinks to himself.

With another sigh, Kurapika enters the building, but a sudden nervousousness shoots up his penis asnd his spine as he opens the door.

"You'll be alright, Kurapika. You'll be alright, Kurapika. You'll be alright, Kurapika." he silently reASSsssures himself, "Besides, this only last a feWsew hours. I hpope..."

That bothered him more. "Relaxaxax, the wait will be longer than the actual session..."

As Kurapika walked into the office, he reminded himself of why he needed this done.

To check for possible cancereress, infections, and such and such.... he thinks.

...

Kurapika walks in a room, scared as all fucking hell.

He shiversss because its cold.

He wants to run away, but he knows he can't escape,

the wrath of the...

ColonscOopy. :D

Especially since he already signed a consent form that said he understood the test that was about to happen.

A nurse shows up. She's really fcuknig ffatat and wobbles when she walks, but she does her job. She puts an IV in a vein in Kurapika's arm.

"W-W-Whats this?" he asks, shaking sliliglghtly. He blames the cold building but he secrerelyetly knows deep down in his heart that's not it.

"This is an intravenous line," the fatass nurse answers. She looks like she could be Tonpa's wife with her square nassty ass noose.

"This isto give you medicyiniee to make you feel 'comfortable.'" she answers, flashing a quick evil grin before Kurapika can notice it.

Kurapiikkka feels like he did see it, and he's even mororee fucking scared.

He feels terrible. This would be a shame to his clan! To feel like such a wimp!

She then waves, saying, "Good llfufkc fuck luckluck!" before she wobbles out the exit. As she exits, she trips over nothing and falls over.

Fucking fatass.

A bunch of people have to whirl her up and out.

That scared Kurapika even fucking more!!!

What the fuck!!!

The anticipation seemed as if it would kill Kurapika. And for some reason it feeelt as if the room was getting colder.

"Well, I haven't really aEate much of anything today. Maybe that's whyUy?" he asks himself. He tried to make himself laugh but it didn't work as you can see.

He shivers more. He wished he was wearing his tribe dress or something and not just the clothes underneath.

"gah... it's so cold, my nipples are hard as stone..."

Just then, somebody else enters the room.

Kurapika nearly jumps at the sight of them. It's Doctor Leorio.

"Fucking shit!" he thinks to himself. "It's alrREdyReady here, it's coming... The test..."

He closes his eyes and convinces himself if he does this, it'll all be over.

But too fucking bad Curarpikt, cause it isn't!

It's just beginning.

Leorio is confused. Why was that d00d shutting his eyes so tightly? Does he need to shit? Is he constipated?

"Hi, I'll be the one to perform the test today." he says, but Kurapika doesn't hear him cause he's silently crying to himself.

Doctor Leorio is all like 'O_o' and then says, "You know if you need to shit or if you're holding in shit we'll have to reschedule ok???"

Kurapika then suddenly bursts, "I DON'T NEED TO FUCKING SHIT NOORR AM I HOLDING IN SHIT!"

Leorio is surprised??? What the fuck???

Kurapika is surprised too at his sudden reaction. what the fuck fuck?? he thinks.

"Umm... Okay then." Leorio says. He then asks, "Any medicines you're allergic to?"

Kurapika shook his head slightly. "N-Not that I'm aware of..."

"Good." Leorio says, "Are you currently taking anything?"

"Uh yes i'm on coke right now." Kurapika answers dishonestly.

Luckily the doctor has a sense of humor! "Hahaha, nice joke!"

Kurapika grtitsits his teeth. It's still fucking cold.

"But now it's time to get serious." Leorio said with his serious face. He then gives Kurapika medicine in his IV.

OH FUCKINGSHIT!!!

Kurapika mentally screams.

"well what the fuck are you waiting for??? Take everything off!!" the doctor directs.

Kurapikakaa obeys him and takes everything off.

haha he's naked

He's sad cause the table is cold and he has to lie naked on the table. Great.

At least his doctor is kinda cute, he thinks.

WAIT WHAT!!

FUCKNIGG G NOO! he thinks! that's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

He feels guilty for thinking that.

"i'm going to put this tube into your anus in which air will blow into it ok???" Leorio says as he gets a colonoscope out of a black hole in the wall.

"Um... OK????" Kurapika didn't know what the fuckk fuck to say to that???

Then Kurapika realized he felt a little drowsy.

It must be the medicine, he thought.

Kurapika clenched. His butt clehcned too. He didn't know what to expect.

and then UP went the tube into kurapika assssssssssssssssssss!!

ewwwwwwwwwW!!!

haha

Kurapika was too fucking drowsy to scream man but it still did kinda feel weird as the scope advanced into his booty. :[

"OMG!" Kurapika suddenly SCreAMed as he switchted positions! "AHHHFUCKING WHATTKGHKFOESDFWERDTHGFEGR!"

ya know it relly didn't help that Leoirorrieoe just shoved it up there like stuffing in a Thanksgignivng Turkay.

WAS THE MEDICINE Even FUCKING Worknig???

HE COuld FEEl CRAMPIng!

"OH FUCKING SHIT!" Krapika scrEAMEd! HIS EYES tURNED RED!!!

He then nearly flew off the table with the tube still in his butt lol.

What a plebster.

butt the n Kurapika calmed the fuck down. 

He started to enjoy it.

Whatwhat????

HOW???

"urg" he moans.

"urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhgggggghh"

Leorio has no idea why hes doing that but he doesn't fucking care either.!

"urggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~"

Kurapika is fckinfg excited! eww wtf.

But then he realized that he's still cold.

"ummmm Daddy its cold in here, can you turn the heat on?" Kurapika,who has a daddy kink, asked.

Leoriore grunts and gets up to turn on the heater thats all the way at theback of teh room. He leaves the scopey in Kurapika's anus even tho hes supposed to be scoping haha.

He returns once the heat is on, and Kurapika is rolling aroudndn on the table with the tube nin his assxss.

"Wha TT THE FUCK@?" Leorio screamed. He had never seen a case like his inHIS HOLE (haha get the pun??) LIFE.

Was it tthe drugus he gave Crackpika?

"Your name is Kurapika, rigihgT? Are you okay???" he asks very concered about his paytient.

"DaaDdaaddddy~" Kurapika moans, shoving the colonoscope further uphis ASSsSSsa!

"The medicyn must have some weird sisde effect I missed..." Leorio thinks to himself.

He thnen notices Kurapika eyes are red??!!? wTF??!?!? They weren't red BEFORee/E!??

"OHmYGOD YUOR EYES ARRE RED!!" hes surprised.

"ThATs's because, "KuraASS says in betweends his moansn, "I'm a kruta daddy~"

Leorio has no fucking idea what that is!

"Maybe he really is on coke... " LeoriOreo thinsk.

Leorio tries to calm Kurapikass down but Kurapika only gets more excited because Leorio is touching him.

"mmm daddy nooo~" Karaaacipakaiaa says as leroire touches his buttt.

Leorio thinks, "Why does he keep saying daddy?" Then he thinks like, "Maybe his father beats him at home? And shoves things up his ass? Ohhhhnooooooo"

That's not good because Leorio is fGuCKING WRONG.

AS USUAL.

""Ddon't worry, Kurpiakana was it? I'll make sure your dad doesn't beat you anymore!!" he says.

"bbubt you're my daddddy!" Kurapika whines.

yup, definitely must be the mediicne, Leorio thinks.

So he unshoves the tube out of Curarpikt's anaaaaaaal butt since he was already sddone looking in it and Kurapikaa passes out.

"oh, he's out???" Leorio is fucking conffuseD??

Then Kurapika jumps up and sCreams "FUCK MEDADDY!!!" and he jumps on LERORIEOS AnD DLEORRIOS IS SCARED!!!

Then as Leorio screams Kurapika cums on his tie and passes out again.

"Oh MY GOD!!!!!!" Leoiro SCREAMS! H e just bough the damn tie.

He rips it off and sets it on fire. Then he throws Kurapika.

Kurapika dies.

Jk.

lel.

...

Kurapika wakes up in a strange room. It's the recovery room.

"Huh...??" Aparrently the sedative wore off.

"What happened...???" Kurapika asks. Does HE REALLY WANANAA KNOW THOUGH?

And then there's that hot doctor from before.

"Wahaht hapened to his tie?? "Kurapika thnks to himself.

haaha he really doesnt need to know..

Leorio cleared his throat, "Since you 'fell asleep,'" he lightly puts it, "after the... test, and thus didn't get to see know your resutlts, i'm here to tell you that...."

Kurapika's eyes widen. Does he have assy cancer???

"You're compleleteetely fine!"

Kurapika lets out a sigh of relieefef , tha't s some Gud Shit 2 Kno.

"Yup, that's right! Your ass is looking wonderful!" Leorio says.

Whathe the fuckufkc Leorio that DIDNT COME OUT RIGHT>

Kurapika blushes bright red. "Um... WHAT???"

Leorio realizes what he said and how it come out really really wrong and he qiuckly says, "Well make sure you have someone to transport you home, ok? BYE!!!" and he runs out the recoverryr room.

Kurapika is sad. He has nobody to take him home since he walked his ass ass sall the way therE. 

Then a guy who was watchig him from the corner licks hissh lips saying, "I can give you a ride home ;) ;) ;0"

It was Hisoka. The Clown doctor ass inspector motherfCuker!

"Uhh... No thank you!" Kurpaiaka quickly gets up and tries to run away . he has trouble walking asnd it doesntn rhelp that his anuss keeps farting.

He fotogot that gas wasa part of post colonuoscopy.

he sighs and waits outisde, sitll farting and looks at the ground. His ride was underage, fucking Killau can't drive yet.

Then Hisoka shows up again in his pink Clown Windowless Van with the song, BubbleGum Bitch playing.

Kurapika wants to cryrfcry.

hisoka invites him in withcnady but then Leorio shows up and throws his suitcase at the fag clown. The clown's pedo van crashes into a Dominoes and that's it for him.

"Sorry aboutth bthat. "Leorio says, "Thats Hisoka, he's a fuckwad and you don't want him driving you home, trust me."

Kurapika looks confused?!??

"He drugged the las tpatient he took home with candy, then proceeded to ... do .... some things..." Leorio doesn't wanna get into detialss.

"Anywasysys, the patient left us a bad review on Yelp! sayingthey had Gum stuck in their anushole for the rest of their livfe." he scratches his head.

Kurapika looks horrified! The clown man has a gum fetish??!?

"Why.... does he wrork here>Er thne?" Kurapika asked

"Uhm... To be honests nobody wreally klikes this job except him... I have no fuckign idea why other than ythat though, Netero is a Crazy old Fart."

Speaking of fartsrtiies, Kurpika kept farting.

"Oh ,uh right. Here I'll drive you home ok?" Leorio picks up Kurapika and drags him to a car that isn'ta wite windowless van, thank god, and straps him in before Kurpikai can even say no.

He then starts drviing off to nowehre becayse he doesn't fucking know where Kurapika's house is.

Does Kurapika even have a house???

"So... uhmmh... Whataas happened durign the 'test?' " Kurapika asks, emerbbrasred. The seats smell like old man colonge,which is fuckign fhot to him.

"Uhh... " Leorioes answere," are you sure you want to know?"

"...Yes. It's for my owngood." Kurapika says.

damnwwas it that baD? he thinks to himself.

So Leorio tells him what happens, in GReat detials, and Kurapika s shocked and grossed out thr whoel time!!

"I'm sorry about yuor tie,sir.. I-" Kurapika starts but he's intrrupted.

"Hahahahaha that's okay let's just never talk about that tie again okaY???" Leorio says. That was his favorite tie :(

Eventuallay they sop at Kurpaika's house cause kurapika did give up the driections, and leoriore s drops him off.

"uhhhhhhhhhhh yhhanks for everything doctor..." Kurapika says with a tear in his eye. IT haad been a long journey with this man and he already wanted to be in his pantsies.

"Bye, Kurapika! Take care!!! " Leoirors waves and leaves.

Kurapika walks onto the strairs of his Gay Pink Barbie House.

"aww... I forgot to ask for his name and bumber.." Kurapikathinks to himself.

But Leorio knew where he lived now!

Kurapika blushed at that thought, "um.. I hope he vissists me again and rams me in the ass, i'd really like that!!!" 

"oh what am I saying!!!??!" Kurapika slaps himself then quickyl runs into the house.

He sees a dead, bloodly killua lying on the dfloor.

"WhhatcTHE fUKCFucK !" Kurapika scremaed.

But it was a fake and the real Killua got up from under the couch singing tHirller.

"OH haha nice scare." Kurapika says lauguhing.

Killua laughs too.

Then killuas akss, "Had fun thaving your anushole scoped??" 

"...Maybe." Kurapika answers.

He woudl never tell killua what happened. Not until he's 39477029 years old at least.

So Kurapika made dinner and Killua ate 98% of it, because he's a vegan.

THE END!

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i wrote this very nasty shit!!!!!


End file.
